You are not ‘running late’, you are rude and selfish

Source: eflon

Man, do we HOPE we’re timely in passing this content onto to you.

Greg Savage, founder of Firebrand (an Aquent brand down under) posted this no-holds-barred post about the importance of showing up on time. We thought it was too good not to share.

Greg, we should mention, has founded four incredibly successful staffing businesses and is a highly-sought after international keynote speaker.

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This post may offend some readers. But only because it’s going to cut close to the bone for many.

And I don’t care if I sound old-fashioned, because actually it’s nothing to do with ‘fashion’ or ‘generation’. It’s got everything to do with basic good manners and respect for other people.

So here goes… How did it get to be “OK” for people to be late for everything?

Because as far as I am concerned, it’s not OK.

In recent years it seems that a meeting set to start at 9 am, for some people means in the general vicinity of any time which starts with the numeral ‘9’. Like 9.30 for example.

People drift in at 9.10 or 9.20, or even later. And they smile warmly at the waiting group, as they unwrap their bacon sandwich, apparently totally unconcerned that others have been there since five to nine, prepared and ready to start.

10 people kept waiting in a meeting for 20 minutes, while some selfish pratt who idles his way via the coffee shop, is actually 20 minutes times 10, which is 200 minutes wasted – while you keep us waiting because you did not catch the earlier bus. That is over 3 hours wasted. By you! How much has that cost the business? Shall I send you an invoice?

And an arrangement to meet someone for a business meeting at a coffee shop at 3 pm, more often than not means at 3.10 you get a text saying ‘I am five minutes away’ which inevitably means 10 minutes, and so you wait for 15 or 20 minutes, kicking your heels in frustration.

And often these ‘latecomers’ are people who have requested the meeting in the first place, are asking for your help, or are selling something. Fat chance, mate!

And it’s not only business.

Why do people, invited for a dinner party at 7.30, think its cool to arrive at 8.30? It’s rude. It’s inconsiderate. And it’s selfish, as I witnessed in a coffee shop near my home one weekend. Three “ladies who lunch” (a species not confined to, but heavily represented on, the lower North Shore of Sydney) were chatting loudly at the table next to me. One inquired what time the ‘drinks do’ was that night. The reply for all the world to hear was ‘Oh 7.30, but we won’t get there till 9 because by then it will have warmed up and all the interesting people will have arrived’. Nice. Imagine if everyone took that view. Cocktail parties would start at 3 am eventually.

Or a dinner at a restaurant where I was meeting two other couples. My wife was away, so I was flying solo. I arrived at two minutes to eight for an eight o’clock booking. At 8.20, I was into my second glass of Pinot and at half-past I got a text saying ‘on the way’. We finally were all seated at 8.45. There were not even attempted excuses from either of the two couples, who seemed oblivious to the fact I might actually have got there at the agreed time. Meanwhile I had put a huge dent in the bottle of Pinot, and was ready to go home.

And it is not that we lead ‘busy lives’. That’s a given, we all do, and it’s a cop out to use that as an excuse. It’s simply that some people no longer even pretend that they think your time is as important as theirs. And technology makes it worse. It seems texting or emailing that you are late somehow means you are no longer late.

Rubbish.

You are rude. And inconsiderate.

And I act on it, too. My dentist kept me waiting 50 minutes not long ago. She has done it for years and years. But enough! I walked out, past a literally open-mouthed receptionist who had never seen a patient act on their frustration, only to get a frantic call from the dentist herself as I got into my car.

Sure she was “busy”, another patient took longer than she expected, blah blah.

But hold on, I am busy too! I would not keep her waiting 45 minutes if she came to see me as a candidate. And yet I am HER customer. I told her I have been coming to you for 15 years but don’t take me for granted. See fewer patients in a day if you have to, but see me on time or close to it. She has never kept me waiting again.

Me? Am I ever late? Sure, sometimes. That’s inevitable even with the best intentions. But I never plan to be late. I never ‘let time slide’ because my stuff is more important than yours.

I am not talking about the odd occasion of lateness. I am talking about people who are routinely late. In fact, never on time. You know who I am talking about!

And certainly I consider serial lateness a character flaw which I take into account when working out who to promote, who to hire and who to count amongst my real friends.

It’s that important.

controversial but interesting book

America: Imagine a World without Her 

1 To the moral credit of America, she ended slavery
the British and French did end slavery before America did, but the difficulty in America was that slavery was critical to the economy because of the Industrial Revolution.
2 America was the only country to fight a great war to end slavery.
3 EMERSON said: THIS IS NOT THE REVOLUTION OF THE OPPRESSED, BUT THE REPENTANCE OF THE TYRANT....MEANING: 300 000 northern soldiers died on the battlefield to secure the freedom of the slaves, that the slaves themselves were not in a position to secure for themselves.

why is america still important in the world

1 From the dawn of humanity, the CONQUEST ethic prevailed. eg colonialism - creation of wealth by taking land and wealth from someone else
2 America invented a rival ethic : WEALTH CREATION
3 IF THE WORLD DID NOT HAVE AMERICA RIGHT NOW, THE CONQUEST ETHIC WOULD RETURN WITH A VENGEANCE
4 The Russians and Chinese are using wealth creation - but they still believe in conquest...eg russia has just annexed crimea from ukraine and china has declared much of the south china sea as her territory.
5 all the commerce of the globalised world would be unsafe if not for the American navy...

so we still need america now as much as in the past

LEAVE THEM ALONE!!!!

rticle: The Price of Ivory

Conservationists are working to stop the killing of elephants for their tusks

APRIL 19, 2013

By Suzanne Zimbler

Print

DAVID WALL—GETTY IMAGES

DOZENS OF AFRICAN ELEPHANTS SLAUGHTERED. That headline has become all too common. Last month, poachers killed at least 86 elephants in Chad and 28 in Cameroon. Both countries are in a region of Africa that has lost more than 60% of its elephants to illegal hunters in the past decade, according to a recent study from the Wildlife Conservation Society.

In 2012 alone, experts say, 30,000 elephants were killed in countries across Africa. "We're seeing the highest levels of poaching since our record-keeping began," Crawford Allan, of the World Wildlife Fund, told TFK.

Why are so many elephants being killed? The answer lies thousands of miles away from Africa, in a handful of Asian countries. In China, business is booming in fancy shops that sell expensive statues and jewelry made of ivory.

The material comes from elephant tusks. But for many ivory purchasers, the gentle giants are not only out of sight but also out of mind. "Surveys indicate that seven out of 10 Chinese citizens don't realize that an elephant has to die in order [for them] to get ivory," says Will Travers, of the Born Free Foundation. In recent years, as China's economy has grown, so has the demand for ivory.

The Trouble with Tusks

The hunt for ivory is not a new problem. In the 1980s, as many as 1 million elephants were slaughtered in Africa. The "Ivory Wars" continued until 1989, when a treaty called CITES banned the sale of ivory from one country to another. Elephant populations began to increase. But that progress was short-lived.

Several African countries had been storing large stockpiles of tusks. To many people, allowing valuable ivory to collect dust in storage seemed like a waste. So CITES officials let a few countries sell their ivory. China bought large quantities of tusks. Today, that ivory is sold legally throughout the country. Unfortunately, this has made it possible for illegal ivory to be sold as well.

Now conservationists are putting pressure on China to crack down on the sale of illegal ivory. Experts say more help is required in Africa too. "A lot of our focus has been on providing training and equipment for the people on the front lines, the rangers," saysKelvin Alie, of the International Fund for Animal Welfare.

Last year, Gabon, in central Africa, set fire to its ivory stockpile. By burning millions of dollars worth of tusks, the nation made a strong statement. "We don't want our children to inherit an empty forest," said the country's President, Ali Bongo. With allies like Bongo, elephants just might stand a chance.

clothes maketh the woman

Muhammed Ali's advice to his daughters...
An incident transpired when Muhammad Ali’s daughters arrived at his home wearing clothes that were quite revealing.

Here is the story as told by one of his daughters:
“When we finally arrived, the chauffeur escorted my younger sister, Laila, and me up to my father’s suite. As usual, he was hiding behind the door waiting to scare us.
We exchanged many hugs and kisses as we could possibly give in one day.

My father took a good look at us. Then he sat me down on his lap and said something that I will never forget. He looked me straight in the eyes and said, “Hana, everything that God made valuable in the world is covered and hard to get to. Where do you find diamonds? Deep down in the ground, covered and protected.
Where do you find pearls? Deep down at the bottom of the ocean, covered up and protected in a beautiful shell.

Where do you find gold? Way down in the mine, covered over with layers and layers of rock. You've got to work hard to get to them.”

He looked at me with serious eyes. “Your body is sacred. You’re far more precious than diamonds and pearls, and you should be covered too.” From the book: More Than A Hero: Muhammad Ali's Life Lessons Through His Daughter's Eyes.

reminds me of something i heard

censorship is like a bikini

what you reveal is interesting

but what you conceal is fascinating

five finger shoes and barefoot running - faulty health claims

Vibram, 'Barefoot Running Shoe' Company, Settles Multi-Million Dollar Lawsuit

If you were one of the 70 million Americans who purchased a pair of those weird-looking "barefoot running" shoes, you may be entitled to some cash.

Vibram, the company behind FiveFingers shoes, just settled a $3.75 million class action lawsuit over false claims that its running shoe yields health benefits, Runner's World reports. The thin-soled, flexible shoes, which cost about $100 a pair, are said to mimic the experience of running in bare feet, and thus "improve foot health" -- an unsupported claim the company falsely advertised.

The lawsuit was first filed by Valerie Bezdek in March 2012. According to court filings, Bezdek claimed that Vibram deployed deceptive marketing and falsely advertised the following benefits from wearing its shoe, without basing its claims on any scientific research:

(1) Strengthen muscles in the feet and lower legs 
(2) Improve range of motion in the ankles, feet, and toes
(3) Stimulate neural function important to balance and agility
(4) Eliminate heel lift to align the spine and improve posture
(5) Allow the foot and body to move naturally

But experts say barefoot running -- an experience the shoes are said to mimic -- may actually have a negative impact on foot health.

"Barefoot running has been touted as improving strength and balance, while promoting a more natural running style," a position statement from the American Podiatric Medicine Association reads. "However, risks of barefoot running include a lack of protection, which may lead to injuries such as puncture wounds, and increased stress on the lower extremities."

And now Vibram will have to foot a hefty bill.

The Huffington Post  | by  Emily Thomas

pain and forgiveness

TORTURED BY THE JAPANESE IN WW2, FORMER POW MET HIS TORMENTOR AGAIN 50 YEARS LATER

Post date: 

6 Jan 2014 - 7:57am

Eric Lomax, who died just a year ago aged 93, was starved, viciously beaten and tortured as a prisoner of the Japanese during WW2.  Fifty years later, he was to meet his chief tormentor again.
An account of his story published in the Reader’s Digest in 1994 generated such interest that, a year later, he published his own memoir called The Railway Man.
Eric Lomax was born in Edinburgh on 30 May 1919.  Just before the outbreak of World War 2 in 1939, aged 19, he joined the Royal Corps of Signals.  Commissioned in December 1940, he was posted to Malaya in 1941, but his unit was soon in full retreat to Singapore, where he was captured by the Japanese in February 1942.  With thousands of his fellow prisoners, he undertook a forced march to Changi Prison, and was then transported 1,200 miles to Kanchanaburi, Thailand, and forced to work on the notorious Burma-Siam Railway.
By day, the prisoners laboured in temperatures exceeding 38°C.  By night, they slept on wooden planks in dismal bamboo huts.  Nearly all the men were depleted from malnutrition and disease, and they were dying by the score.
To obtain war news, Lomax and a few other prisoners had secretly built a radio receiver from scrap materials they collected.  They concealed it in a coffee tin and huddled around it at night.  Lomax also drew a map of the area around the railway to aid in possible escape attempts, gaining information from truck drivers, new prisoners, and Japanese maps whenever he had access to camp offices.  He hid his map in the latrine.  The radio went undetected for a few months until one morning when the Japanese conducted a surprise search of the huts.  It was discovered under the bunk of another prisoner, whose immediate punishment was to swing a 270lb sledgehammer onto a block of wood for hours at a time.
A few weeks later, Lomax and 4 of his radio ‘co-conspirators’ were ordered to gather their belongings to move to another camp in Kanchanaburi.  Lomax ducked into the latrine and grabbed the map.  When they arrived at the new camp, the prisoners were thrown to the ground and their meagre possessions ransacked.  A guard found Lomax’s map and they were ordered to stand at attention all day in the scorching sun, without food or water.  Finally, that night, one of the prisoners was ordered to raise his arms above his head. A soldier swung the wooden handle of a pickaxe down across the man’s back, knocking him to the ground. Other guards joined in, beating and kicking the man until he appeared lifeless. Another prisoner was similarly beaten.  Lomax was next.  Within seconds he was slammed to the ground, and his mouth filled with blood.  He felt boot heels on the back of his head, crunching his face into the gravel.  He heard the crack of his own bones.  The beating went on until he lost consciousness.
When Lomax woke the next morning, his body was numb.  The other four men were sprawled nearby, groaning.  They lay under the fierce sun for two days before fellow POWs were sent to carry them to the camp hospital, where a Dutch doctor treated them as best he could.  Lomax was in the worst condition.  His nose, arms, right hip and several ribs were broken. Bruises covered his body. “You men suffered the most horrendous beatings I have ever witnessed,” the doctor said. “I counted 900 blows over six hours.”
Two weeks after the beatings, with his arms encased in splints and bandages, Lomax was driven to the Japanese military-police headquarters in Kanchanaburi.  There, he was locked in a 5ft cage that soon became full of red ants, mosquitoes and his own filth.
Eventually, he was brought before a shaven-headed NCO, “his face full of violence” and an “almost delicate” interpreter, Takashi Nagase, for interrogation.  In fluent English, Nagase accused Lomax of ‘anti-Japanese activities’ and stated that he would be ‘killed shortly’.  Lomax remembered it as, “a flat neutral piece of information … I had just been sentenced to death by a man my own age who seemed completely indifferent to my fate. I had no reason to doubt him.”
Nagase said to Lomax, “We know you were involved in building and operating the radio – your friends confessed to your part in it. Now tell us: Who else was involved?”  Lomax refused to tell them.  They wanted to know why Lomax had secret map of the area around the railway, and where he had got the information to draw it.  Unsurprisingly, his explanation that he was a railway enthusiast who had simply mapped it for pleasure on his own devices did not convince them.
The interrogation went on for hours, then days.  Nagase was always on hand as interpreter.  Eventually the military policemen began to slap Lomax, and then deliver repeated blows to his face as his silence continued.  When the policemen stalked out of the room momentarily, Nagase whispered to Lomax, “If you confess, they’ll stop beating you.”  But Lomax remained defiant.
On the 5th day of interrogation, Lomax was accused of being a spy – a crime punishable by death.  When Nagase told him he had to sign a confession, Lomax again refused.  Lomax was dragged out to the banks of the River Kwai and was laid on his back on a bench.  One of his broken arms was pulled behind his back, the other across his chest, and he was tied down. He was in agony.
“Are you ready to talk?” Nagase asked.  Lomax shook his head.
A towel was put over his mouth and nose. Then one of the guards picked up a long rubber hose, turned a faucet on full force, and directed the stream onto the towel. The water soaked through, blocking Lomax’s mouth and nose.  He gagged and frantically gasped for breath as water filled his throat.  His stomach began to swell.  He was drowning on dry land.  When the towel was finally removed and Lomax had recovered from his delirium, he still refused to confess and name his confederates.  The water torture began once more.  At times, Lomax ended up crying out for his mother, unaware that she had died soon after his capture.
The interrogation and torture finally stopped after more than a week.  The Japanese had brought Lomax as close to death as possible, yet he showed no signs of giving in.  Nagase informed Lomax that he was being transferred out of the camp.  Expressing empathy with the prisoner, Nagase said, “Keep your chin up.”
It had no effect on Lomax, who was consumed with hatred for Nagase.  In Lomax’s mind, Nagase personified all the atrocities committed by the Japanese.  His was the voice that Lomax heard hour after hour, when the torture began and ended.  During the interrogations, Lomax memorised every feature of Nagase’s face: the dark eyes, the small nose, the broad forehead.  He wanted to remember him, and someday find him and make him pay.

Eric Lomax and Nagase Takashi during WW2

Lomax was tried in a court in Bangkok for his ‘crimes’ and sentenced him to 5 years’ hard labour.  He was sent to a disease-ridden prison in Singapore and twice feigned injury in order to be sent to hospital.  He stayed there until the war ended, when his suffering appeared to be over.
When Lomax finally returned home to Britain, he learned that his mother had died three years before, and his father had remarried. He was relieved to find, however, that his fiancée had waited for him.  They married three weeks after his arrival, and Lomax’s life seemed to settle into a comfortable routine.  He retired from the army in 1948, worked abroad for some years and later got a job teaching personnel management at Strathelyde University in Glasgow. He also became the father of two girls.
But his wartime past wouldn’t leave him.  The fractured bones in his right arm and wrist never set properly, making it painful for him to write.  He also had frequent nightmares in which he would see Nagase’s face and hear his voice.  He refused to talk about the war, reasoning that nobody would understand.  He would lose his temper over trivial matters, such as bureaucratic requests for personal information.  When his wife asked him what was wrong, Lomax remained tight-lipped and sullen. Finally the marriage ended.
In 1983, at the age of 64, Lomax married Patricia Wallace, a 46-year-old nurse.  Patti understood that her husband’s angry outbursts were related to his wartime experiences and assumed things would get better with time.  Unfortunately, matters grew worse and the flashbacks continued.  He even once refused to take a seat in a restaurant because a Japanese couple was eating nearby.  At his wife’s urging, Lomax contacted the Medical Foundation for the Care of Victims of Torture, and began treatments with a psychiatrist, talking about his experiences as a POW.  But, he remained darkly obsessed with his torturers, especially the interpreter.  He located and wrote other British survivors of Kanchanaburi, requesting information about the camp officials.  Nothing came of his efforts.  Then, in October 1989, a friend gave Lomax a newspaper clipping about the publication of Crosses and Tigers, a book by Takashi Nagase.
To Lomax’s amazement, the article explained how, “the author has flashbacks of the Japanese military police in Kanchanaburi torturing a POW accused of possessing a map.  One of their methods was to pour large amounts of water down his throat.”  The article spoke of Nagase’s remorse over Japanese atrocities and his public acts of atonement to the victims.
Lomax got a copy of Nagase’s book and found it very painful to read, especially the details of his interrogation and torture.  His wife suggested that he write to Nagase.  Lomax refused, but gave her grudging permission to send a letter on her own.
“I have just finished reading your book,” Patti wrote. “My husband is the man you describe being tortured so terribly”. She went on to say he had lived with many unanswered questions all these years and ended with a request: “if you are willing, perhaps you would correspond with my husband?”
Patti Lomax was moved to tears by Nagase’s reply. “I have suffered tremendous guilt all these years,” he wrote.  “I have often prayed I would meet your husband again and be able to seek forgiveness for what I assisted in.”
Convinced of Nagase’s sincerity, Patti suggested to her husband that he should write himself.  While Lomax was extremely reluctant to contact the very object of his hatred, Patti gently suggested, “Maybe it’s time to step out of the darkness.”
Eventually Lomax agreed that Nagase’s remorse must he genuine and replied with a note, “Perhaps a meeting would be good for us.  They agreed to meet at the World War 2 museum in Kanchanaburi on 26 March 1993 – almost 50 years after their first encounter.
Lomax travelled to the Far East with Patti.  On the day of the meeting, he nervously paced about the museum’s terrace.  Then he saw a slight Japanese man walking towards him. The face was much older, but still instantly recognisable.  The former interpreter identified Lomax just as quickly.  When Nagase reached Lomax, he bowed deeply. “I am so very sorry,” he said softly. “I would like…” His voice cracked, and he began to cry.  On instinct, Lomax put out his hand, and Nagase clasped it tightly.  They sat together in silence on a nearby bench. Finally Lomax spoke, “Do you remember what you told me when we last met?”
“No, I don’t,” Nagase replied.
“You said, ‘Keep your chin up.” Lomax paused, then smiled.
The tension began to vanish.  Over the next three days, the men talked about their lives since the war.  Their rapport grew easier with time.
The day before they were to part, the two men sat across from each other in silence. Then Lomax handed Nagase a letter he had written the night before. “I think you’d like to have this,” he said.
Nagase unfolded the page and read the words, “Although I can’t forget the ill treatment at Kanchanaburi, taking into account your change of heart, your apologies, the work you are doing, please accept my total forgiveness.”
Nagase looked up and grasped Lomax’s hand.  Both men had tears in their eyes.
“I’ve learned that hate is a useless battle,” Lomax said, “and it has to end sometime.”
The two men went on to become firm friends, and their remarkable story of reconciliation has been turned into a film, starring Colin Firth as Eric Lomax, with Nicole Kidman playing his wife.  Sadly, Mr Lomax will not now see the film’s release next year.

worth a thought

should women be fighting for equality?

powerful messages... save the children of this world

The first image refers to pedophilia in the Vatican. Second child sexual abuse in tourism in Thailand, and the third refers to the war in Syria. The fourth image refers to the trafficking of organs on the black market, where most of the victims are children from poor countries; fifth refers to weapons free in the U.S.. And finally, the sixth image refers to obesity, blam...ing the big fast food companies.
The new series produced by Cuban artist Erik Ravelo was titled as "The untouchables", are photographs of children crucified for his supposed oppressors, each for a different reason and a clear message, seeks to reaffirm the right of children to be protected and report abuse suffered by them especially in countries such as Brazil, Syria, Thailand, United States and Japan"

6 hours ago

IS SCIENCE A BANE OR A BOON

• 1 Denmark has liberal sperm donation policies that appeal to women who want to conceive using artificial insemination.
•  Denmark is tightening rules on sperm donation after one donor was found to have passed on a rare genetic condition to at least five of the 43 babies he is thought to have fathered.

•   3 Donors will now only be allowed to donate enough for 12 inseminations.

 MAGDALENE seriously? is thAT THIRD POINT THE BEST SOLUTION THEY COULD THINK OF!

CECELIA : CASTRATE THE DONOR!!

THOMAS: WE HAVE COME THIS FAR...THERE IS NO STOP BUTTON FOR SCIENCE...THE THIRD POINT SHOULD BE A STOP GAP SOLUTION UNTIL OTHER SOLUTIONS ARE FOUND...IT IS NOT OK IF ONLY 12 CHILDREN ARE INFECTED... 

GOOD ARTICLE FOR THE QUESTION ON WHETHER IT IS EASY FOR PEOPLE TO KEEP THEIR MARRIAGE VOWS

Seoul - The increasing popularity of "ernai," or mistresses among wealthy men is emerging as a problem in Chinese society, the New York Times reported on Wednesday.

Amid the rapid development of the country's economy, large numbers of those fortunate enough to enjoy the prosperity are having affairs with mistresses, making it the symbol of the rich.

"Keeping a mistress is just like playing golf," a man told the New York Times concerning the issue, adding "both are expensive hobbies." Those seeking such liaisons offer lavishing apartments or cars as well as monthly allowances.

However, the public is angered by the trend. Chinese prosecutors believe about 90 percents of governmental executives accused of corruption have mistresses, sometimes more than 10.

In December a government employee allegedly murdered his mistresses and abandoned the body in a river when she asked for $3 million in return for putting end to the relationship.

Zheng Beichin, a lawyer who had defended a mistress, told the New York Times "the nation's elite, including judges and government officials, have little desire to tinker with the status quo."

Meanwhile, a similar phenomenon exists in Korea covertly under the name of "sponsor contract," where rich men provide money and a home to women in return for relationships.

MAGDALENE: HMM THIS SOUNDS EASY ENOUGH; WHY STUDY...JUST BE A MISTRESS AND GET EVERYTHING YOU NEED. IT IS A WAY OF LIFE THAT IS ASSOCIATED ONLY WITH THE RICH...? DIDNT THEY HAVE CONCUBINES IN THE PAST?
CECELIA: AND RUN THE RISK OF BEING KILLED/ SILENCED IF THINGS GO SOUR? IS IT WORTH THE RISK?
SANE THOMAS: TRADITIONALY VALUES ARE SPIRALLING DOWNWARDS; IN ITS PLACE..WANTON/ EXCESSIVE /DECADENT BEHAVIOUR THAT SIGNALS WORSE THINGS TO COME...WHEN FAMILIES BREAK DOWN, HOW IS THE FABRIC OF SOCIETY GOING TO REMAIN UNFRAYED?

this is so sad... i have tried to live by this creed...its not easy but it makes us better people

A father's message from beyond the grave
3 days ago by

Ever wondered what it is like to have Death staring straight in your eyes? Is there anything you will like to do or change before you draw your last breath? What if you have a family with young children and perhaps some precious time left? What would you do?

Here’s a sad but true story to be shared, about a loving dad and husband, who did what he could in the little time he was left for his family. From their country cottage filled with memories of Mandy Flanagan’s late husband Paul, she shared with us their story.

Paul, a teacher, who died of cancer at the age of 45 in November 2009, passionately believed his children, Thomas and Lucy, should have more than just fading photographs to remember him by. For the children were only five and one-and-half years old at the time of his passing. “There was nothing more important to Paul than being the best father he could be,” says Mandy.

“When he knew he was dying, there was no time for self-pity. He became absolutely focused on doing whatever he could to continue being a good dad to them throughout the years, even though he wouldn’t be here in person.”

Amongst his preparation included letters, filmed messages, future birthday presents and his personal chest of favorite books. “Each book is accompanied by a note to Thomas and Lucy explaining why Paul loved it, and how much he hopes they will too when they’re old enough to read it,” explains Mandy.

But perhaps all these gifts pales in comparison to a document titled “On finding fulfillment”, accidentally discovered on his laptop by Mandy. “I opened it and, with tears rolling down my cheeks, I discovered his bullet-pointed code to living a good and happy life,” says Mandy. And this list of 28 instructions was the very way Paul lived his life.

Addressing his children who were too young to understand the tragedy that was unfolding, Paul writes, ”In these last few weeks, following my terminal diagnosis, I have searched my soul and heart to find ways in which I can reach out to you as you grow up.

“I’ve been thinking about the matters in life that are important, and the values and aspirations that make people happy and successful. In my view, and you may well have your own ideas by now, the formula is pretty simple.

“The three most important virtues are: Loyalty, integrity and moral courage. If you aspire, friends will respect you, employers will retain you, and your father will be immensely proud of you. I am therefore giving you several pieces of advice. These are the principles on which I have tried to build my life and they are exactly those that I would have encouraged you to embrace, had I been able to.” “I love you very much. Never forget that.”

“He also wrote that they should never give up, and he certainly never did. He fought so bravely, so courageously, right to the end.”

Having been first diagnosed with skin cancer in 2004, where a birthmark on his chest had become malignant. The cancer was removed in November that year when their son Thomas was only a few months old. And after years of regular follow-ups, he was given the all clear in January 2008 when Mandy was expecting Lucy.

However a swelling that appears in May 2008 proved the cancer had spread to his lymph glands in his arms and neck shortly after. Even surgery and radiotherapy was not able to halt its progression. By March 2009, the cancer had spread to his brain and his condition was terminal.

“He never pitied himself,” says Mandy. “The diagnosis, and perhaps the drugs he was on, triggered a sort of mania. He suddenly had so much energy. While I lay awake upstairs worrying, Paul would work through the nights, determined to get his affairs in order.”

Having meticulously organized the family finances, arranged his own funeral, buying presents for their children, their dining room was soon filled piles of shoeboxes filled with paperwork, hand-written letters and DVD messages for his family and friends.

With Lucy christened last summer, she now has one godmother and nine godfathers. “He wanted his friends to have a permanent tie to his family, I think,” says Mandy. “And if Lucy couldn’t have her father, a fantastic team of godfathers was the very least she deserved.”

With his passing at home, some eight months after his terminal diagnosis, Mandy was certain he’ll be able to rest peacefully knowing that he had left the best legacy any father could. “When some people are told they have just a few months to live, they decide their life won’t be complete until they’ve bungee-jumped off Sydney Harbor Bridge or seen the Grand Canyon. But that wasn’t Paul. All that was important to him was right here. He lived and died by his own rules, and I know he had found his fulfillment.”

We all have a finite amount of time in this world, some less than others. And it is not the amount of time, rather how we use it which truly matters. Ever so often we get absorbed by our daily rat race and tend to take our loved ones for granted. Perhaps it is time we slow down and re-examine ourselves before it is too late.
A FATHER'S RULES FOR FINDING FULFILLMENT

Be courteous, be punctual, always say please and thank you, and be sure to hold your knife and fork properly. Others take their cue on how to treat you from your manners.

Be kind, considerate and compassionate when others are in trouble, even if you have problems of your own. Others will admire your selflessness and will help you in due course.

Show moral courage. Do what is right, even if that makes you unpopular. I always thought it important to be able to look at myself in the shaving mirror every morning and not feel guilt or remorse. I depart this world with a pretty clear conscience.

Show humility. Stand your ground but pause to reflect on what the other side are saying, and back off when you know you are wrong. Never worry about losing face. That only happens when you are pig-headed.
Learn from your mistakes. You will make plenty so use them as a learning tool. If you keep making the same mistake or run into a problem, you’re doing something wrong.

Avoid disparaging someone to a third party; it is only you who will look bad. If you have a problem with someone, tell them face to face.

Hold fire! If someone crosses you, don’t react immediately. Once you say something it can never be taken back, and most people deserve a second chance.

Have fun. If this involves taking risks, so be it. If you get caught, hold your hands up.

Give to charity and help those who are less fortunate than yourselves: it’s easy and so rewarding.

Always look on the upside! The glass is half full, never half empty. Every adversity has a silver lining if you seek it out.

Make it your instinct always to say ‘yes’. Look for reasons to do something, not reasons to say no. Your friends will cherish you for that.

Be canny: you will get more of what you want if you can give someone more of what they desire. Compromise can be king.

Always accept a party invitation. You may not want to go, but they want you there. Show them courtesy and respect.

Never ever let a friend down. I would bury bodies for my friends, if they asked me to . . . which is why I have chosen them carefully.

Always tip for good service. It shows respect. But never reward poor service. Poor service is insulting.

Always treat those you meet as your social equal, whether they are above or below your station in life. For those above you, show due deference, but don’t be a sycophant.

Always respect age, as age equals wisdom.

Be prepared to put the interests of your sibling first.

Be proud of who you are and where you come from, but open your mind to other cultures and languages. When you begin to travel (as I hope you will), you’ll learn that your place in the world is both vital and insignificant. Don’t get too big for your breeches.

Be ambitious, but not nakedly so. Be prepared to back your assertions with craftsmanship and hard work.

Live every day to its full: do something that makes you smile or laugh, and avoid procrastination.

Give of your best at school. Some teachers forget that pupils need incentives. So if your teacher doesn’t give you one, devise your own.

Always pay the most you can afford. Never skimp on hotels, clothing, shoes, make-up or jewellery. But always look for a deal. You get what you pay for.

Never give up! My two little soldiers have no dad, but you are brave, big-hearted, fit and strong. You are also loved by an immensely kind and supportive team of family and friends. You make your own good fortune, my children, so battle on.

Never feel sorry for yourself, or at least don’t do it for long. Crying doesn’t make things better.

Look after your body and it will look after you.

Learn a language, or at least try. Never engage a person abroad in conversation without first greeting them in their own language; by all means ask if they speak English!

And finally, cherish your mother, and take very good care of her.

I love you both with all my heart.
Daddy x

this is so sad... i have tried to live by this creed...its not easy but it makes us better people

A father's message from beyond the grave
3 days ago by

Ever wondered what it is like to have Death staring straight in your eyes? Is there anything you will like to do or change before you draw your last breath? What if you have a family with young children and perhaps some precious time left? What would you do?

Here’s a sad but true story to be shared, about a loving dad and husband, who did what he could in the little time he was left for his family. From their country cottage filled with memories of Mandy Flanagan’s late husband Paul, she shared with us their story.

Paul, a teacher, who died of cancer at the age of 45 in November 2009, passionately believed his children, Thomas and Lucy, should have more than just fading photographs to remember him by. For the children were only five and one-and-half years old at the time of his passing. “There was nothing more important to Paul than being the best father he could be,” says Mandy.

“When he knew he was dying, there was no time for self-pity. He became absolutely focused on doing whatever he could to continue being a good dad to them throughout the years, even though he wouldn’t be here in person.”

Amongst his preparation included letters, filmed messages, future birthday presents and his personal chest of favorite books. “Each book is accompanied by a note to Thomas and Lucy explaining why Paul loved it, and how much he hopes they will too when they’re old enough to read it,” explains Mandy.

But perhaps all these gifts pales in comparison to a document titled “On finding fulfillment”, accidentally discovered on his laptop by Mandy. “I opened it and, with tears rolling down my cheeks, I discovered his bullet-pointed code to living a good and happy life,” says Mandy. And this list of 28 instructions was the very way Paul lived his life.

Addressing his children who were too young to understand the tragedy that was unfolding, Paul writes, ”In these last few weeks, following my terminal diagnosis, I have searched my soul and heart to find ways in which I can reach out to you as you grow up.

“I’ve been thinking about the matters in life that are important, and the values and aspirations that make people happy and successful. In my view, and you may well have your own ideas by now, the formula is pretty simple.

“The three most important virtues are: Loyalty, integrity and moral courage. If you aspire, friends will respect you, employers will retain you, and your father will be immensely proud of you. I am therefore giving you several pieces of advice. These are the principles on which I have tried to build my life and they are exactly those that I would have encouraged you to embrace, had I been able to.” “I love you very much. Never forget that.”

“He also wrote that they should never give up, and he certainly never did. He fought so bravely, so courageously, right to the end.”

Having been first diagnosed with skin cancer in 2004, where a birthmark on his chest had become malignant. The cancer was removed in November that year when their son Thomas was only a few months old. And after years of regular follow-ups, he was given the all clear in January 2008 when Mandy was expecting Lucy.

However a swelling that appears in May 2008 proved the cancer had spread to his lymph glands in his arms and neck shortly after. Even surgery and radiotherapy was not able to halt its progression. By March 2009, the cancer had spread to his brain and his condition was terminal.

“He never pitied himself,” says Mandy. “The diagnosis, and perhaps the drugs he was on, triggered a sort of mania. He suddenly had so much energy. While I lay awake upstairs worrying, Paul would work through the nights, determined to get his affairs in order.”

Having meticulously organized the family finances, arranged his own funeral, buying presents for their children, their dining room was soon filled piles of shoeboxes filled with paperwork, hand-written letters and DVD messages for his family and friends.

With Lucy christened last summer, she now has one godmother and nine godfathers. “He wanted his friends to have a permanent tie to his family, I think,” says Mandy. “And if Lucy couldn’t have her father, a fantastic team of godfathers was the very least she deserved.”

With his passing at home, some eight months after his terminal diagnosis, Mandy was certain he’ll be able to rest peacefully knowing that he had left the best legacy any father could. “When some people are told they have just a few months to live, they decide their life won’t be complete until they’ve bungee-jumped off Sydney Harbor Bridge or seen the Grand Canyon. But that wasn’t Paul. All that was important to him was right here. He lived and died by his own rules, and I know he had found his fulfillment.”

We all have a finite amount of time in this world, some less than others. And it is not the amount of time, rather how we use it which truly matters. Ever so often we get absorbed by our daily rat race and tend to take our loved ones for granted. Perhaps it is time we slow down and re-examine ourselves before it is too late.
A FATHER'S RULES FOR FINDING FULFILLMENT

Be courteous, be punctual, always say please and thank you, and be sure to hold your knife and fork properly. Others take their cue on how to treat you from your manners.

Be kind, considerate and compassionate when others are in trouble, even if you have problems of your own. Others will admire your selflessness and will help you in due course.

Show moral courage. Do what is right, even if that makes you unpopular. I always thought it important to be able to look at myself in the shaving mirror every morning and not feel guilt or remorse. I depart this world with a pretty clear conscience.

Show humility. Stand your ground but pause to reflect on what the other side are saying, and back off when you know you are wrong. Never worry about losing face. That only happens when you are pig-headed.
Learn from your mistakes. You will make plenty so use them as a learning tool. If you keep making the same mistake or run into a problem, you’re doing something wrong.

Avoid disparaging someone to a third party; it is only you who will look bad. If you have a problem with someone, tell them face to face.

Hold fire! If someone crosses you, don’t react immediately. Once you say something it can never be taken back, and most people deserve a second chance.

Have fun. If this involves taking risks, so be it. If you get caught, hold your hands up.

Give to charity and help those who are less fortunate than yourselves: it’s easy and so rewarding.

Always look on the upside! The glass is half full, never half empty. Every adversity has a silver lining if you seek it out.

Make it your instinct always to say ‘yes’. Look for reasons to do something, not reasons to say no. Your friends will cherish you for that.

Be canny: you will get more of what you want if you can give someone more of what they desire. Compromise can be king.

Always accept a party invitation. You may not want to go, but they want you there. Show them courtesy and respect.

Never ever let a friend down. I would bury bodies for my friends, if they asked me to . . . which is why I have chosen them carefully.

Always tip for good service. It shows respect. But never reward poor service. Poor service is insulting.

Always treat those you meet as your social equal, whether they are above or below your station in life. For those above you, show due deference, but don’t be a sycophant.

Always respect age, as age equals wisdom.

Be prepared to put the interests of your sibling first.

Be proud of who you are and where you come from, but open your mind to other cultures and languages. When you begin to travel (as I hope you will), you’ll learn that your place in the world is both vital and insignificant. Don’t get too big for your breeches.

Be ambitious, but not nakedly so. Be prepared to back your assertions with craftsmanship and hard work.

Live every day to its full: do something that makes you smile or laugh, and avoid procrastination.

Give of your best at school. Some teachers forget that pupils need incentives. So if your teacher doesn’t give you one, devise your own.

Always pay the most you can afford. Never skimp on hotels, clothing, shoes, make-up or jewellery. But always look for a deal. You get what you pay for.

Never give up! My two little soldiers have no dad, but you are brave, big-hearted, fit and strong. You are also loved by an immensely kind and supportive team of family and friends. You make your own good fortune, my children, so battle on.

Never feel sorry for yourself, or at least don’t do it for long. Crying doesn’t make things better.

Look after your body and it will look after you.

Learn a language, or at least try. Never engage a person abroad in conversation without first greeting them in their own language; by all means ask if they speak English!

And finally, cherish your mother, and take very good care of her.

I love you both with all my heart.
Daddy x

THEY DEFEND US!!!

A photo of a national service man making his maid carry his backpack is making its rounds online. (Photo from Facebook)
He’s in the army, but she’s the one carrying the backpack.
A series of photographs making its rounds on the Internet has generated much debate about whether Gen Y soldiers in Singapore are too “soft” and “spoilt”.
The photos – which were taken off Facebook and posted on The Straits Times’ online portal Stomp — features a young man, fully decked out in army fatigues, with his maid trailing behind him carrying his large backpack.


LET'S NOT STEREOTYPE, BUT IS THIS WHAT AFFLUENCE BREEDS?

have sex will travel

China Times Weekly reported that porn tourists are so desperate for three dimensional titillation, they are preparing to fly from the Chinese mainland to Taiwan for the Hong Kong-produced sex flick, "3D Sex & Zen: Extreme Ecstasy".

According to the source, it is 99.99% likely not to make release on Mainland screens, so quick-witted travel agencies have launched a tourist package to Taiwan that climaxes with a two-hour ogle at what is said to be the world's first 3D porn film.

Said to be loosely based on Li Yu's 17th century classical Chinese erotic literature "The Carnal Prayer Mat", this HK $20 million 3D re-update of the 1991 HK classic erotica stars HK porn star Vonnie Lui, Japanese AV actresses Yukiko Suo and Saori Hara opposite HK-based Japanese male model Hiro Hayama.

The film will reportedly chronicle the adventures of a young man who, after being introduced to the erotic world of a duke, realises his ex-wife is the love of his life and features "orgies, swinging and some very graphic sex scenes."

ONLY IN AMERICA!!!! how far would they go?

No, it wasn't a Monty Python sketch. A human sexuality class really did get a live sex show in an auditorium at Chicago's Northwestern University.

The topic of the day was bondage, swinging and other fetishes. Then, after the class was officially dismissed, students were told they could stick around for a demonstration of sex toys and the female orgasm.

About 100 students -- and apparently one of their mothers who was sitting in on the class that day -- were in the auditorium when an exhibitionist couple offered to perform.Most stayed to watch as the woman undressed on stage and her male partner brought her to orgasm with a device that looked like a machine-powered saw with a phallic object instead of a blade.

"It is probably something I will remember for the rest of my life," said student Justin Smith, 21."I can't say that about my Econ 202 class and the material that I learned there."

Once the demonstration began, Smith said, "there was a lot of covering of the mouth like 'Oh my gosh.' It was pretty quiet.... I didn't really see people take affront, but they were engaged with the experience."Faith Kroll, 25, said she had planned to simply answer questions and show off her sex toys but was game to demonstrate in the flesh after the students were shown an "absurd, clinical" video.

"One of the students asked what my specific fetish was and mine is being in front of people, having the attention and being used," she told the Chicago Sun-Times. "The students seemed really intrigued."Psychology professor John Michael Bailey said he initially hesitated, but decided to allow the public sex act.

"My hesitation concerned the likelihood that many people would find this inappropriate," he wrote in a statement. "My decision to say 'yes' reflected my inability to come up with a legitimate reason why students should not be able to watch such a demonstration."The university initially defended the risque display, with a spokesman saying in a statement that it "supports the efforts of its faculty to further the advancement of knowledge" even though some of the topics may be "controversial."

But as the news went viral Thursday, the university's president issued a statement saying he was "troubled and disappointed by what occurred.""I feel it represented extremely poor judgment on the part of our faculty member," Northwestern University President Morton Schapiro said.

"I have directed that we investigate fully the specifics of this incident, and also clarify what constitutes appropriate pedagogy, both in this instance and in the future."

well, they have crossed the line...It is in bad taste, practically pornographic...
but then again, aren't some people getting a daily dose of this on-line? Well, that may be the case...but as far as possible, let' keep some things private...as long as we can before the tsunami of decadence and openness sweeps over us...


again i lament the loss of innocence

about animals and us

america - The Supreme Court has ruled a federal law designed to stop the sale and marketing of videos showing dog fights and other acts of animal cruelty is an unconstitutional violation of free speech.

THIS MEANS - SALE OF SUCH VIDEOS IS NOW LEGAL....

The specific case before the court dealt with tapes showing pit bulldogs attacking other animals and one another in staged confrontations.

AND PEOPLE WATCH THIS FOR ENTERTAINMANT?

THATS ONE UP FOR FREE SPEECH AND HUMAN RIGHTS!

AND ONE DOWN FOR HUMANITY....

abt reading and knowing...

THIS IS A POSSIBLE CONCLUSION...IT SHOWS A PERSONAL VOICE, AND CONVICTION...AND IT IS RELEVANT TO ALL OF US


the education that we get in PRIMARY school and college is really just the first step out of many thousands of steps that we ought to take in the lifelong process of teaching ourselves, of being educated by what other people are doing, what's happening in the world; being educated by staying intellectually alive, staying alert to everything that's going on out there. This is the imperative; this is what we should all be deeply engaged in, always.

ROLE OF THE INDIVIDUAL...WHATEVER THE ISSUE

2004 article - according to recent articles - not so common now

South Korean parents are turning to surgery to give their children a leg up in mastering the English language.

The problem for the youngsters is sorting out L and R surrounds which they find difficult to pronounce.

Now, doctors can snip the thin tissue under the tongue to make it longer and supposedly nimbler even though the government discourages the operation.

The National Human Rights Commission has made a movie to scare the public into ceasing the practice.

It shows a young mother, obsessed with her son’s pronunciation at the kindergarten’s all-English Christmas play, rushing him to the clinic.

The boy screams as the mother and nurses hold him down, the mother insisting: “It’s all for his future.”

“Many viewers close their eyes at the surgery scenes,” said director Park Jin-pyo, who used footage from a real operation. “I wanted them to see how our society tramples our children’s human rights in the name of their future.”

The English craze among pre-school children took off in 2000 when the government made English classes mandatory from third grade.

Flawless English was once ridiculed as snobbish and even unpatriotic. Now it’s a status symbol and prized by business and colleges.

“Many parents have an illusion that good English could change their children’s lives,” said Song Young-hye, who runs Wonderland, one of the thousands of English language schools that have mushroomed in South Korea’s multi-billion English-teaching industry.

The procedure called a frenulotomy is used in the West in cases where the tissue under the tongue is abnormal and causes a speech impediment. No statistics exist on how many Korean children undergo go it. While local media say it is widespread in Seoul’s wealthier districts, doctors call the reports exaggerated.

Doctors scoff at the notion that the Korean tongue is too short or too inflexible for proper English, noting that thousands of Korean-Americans speak unaccented English without surgery.

“Doing the surgery on a normal kid just for English pronunciation doesn’t make anatomical sense at all,” says Park Bom-chung at Seoul’s Kangnam Sacred Heart Hospital.

The operation takes 20 to 30 minutes under local anaesthetic.

be bold - dare to be different...fortune may not always favour the bold but its certainly worth a try!

What I Wish I Knew When I Was 20: A Crash Course on Making Your Place in the World,by tina seelig

Most young people believe that their career path should progress at a predictable rate, with ever increasing responsibilities and compensation. That usually isn’t — and shouldn’t be — the case. I like the analogy that Carol Bartz, CEO of Yahoo!, used when she spoke at Stanford a few years ago. She said that you should look at the progress of your career as moving around and up a three dimensional pyramid as opposed to up a two dimensional ladder. Lateral moves along the side of the pyramid allow you to build a base of experience. It may not look as though you are moving up quickly, but you are gaining a foundation of skills, experience, and contacts that will prove extremely valuable later. Additionally, there are often times when you slide backward. Don’t despair: Your recovery after a failure often propels you forward more quickly than if you stayed on a linear, predictable path.

LEARNING POINTS
1 LATERAL TRANSFERS ARE GOOD - EVERY OPPORTUNITY IS A LEARNING EXPERIENCE
2 FAILURES, IF TAKEN IN A POSITIVE LIGHT, CAN LEAD TO GREATER SUCCESS...
SO SHIFT YOUR CHAKRAS BE HAPPY


WISH I HAD BEEN TOLD THIS 20 YEARS AGO - WONDER WHAT I WOULD BE DOING NOW...ACTUALLY...NO REGRETS - NENE AT ALL....

its not cool..don be a fool....

Sexually transmitted infections (STIs) have been on the rise among teenagers. Last year, 791 teens were diagnosed with STIs at the clinic, more than three times the 238 cases in 2002. As of August this year, the number was 526.

Other statistics also point to people becoming more sexually aware from a young age.

A survey last year of 226 sexually active teens between the ages 10 and 19 found that three of them had their first sexual encounter at 11.

More than half have had at least three sex partners. One teen had 34, which might indicate that he or she was getting money for sex.